Nothing like seeing a mate in trouble to make your own problems seem so much better, somehow. There was a foreign word for it; he was sure. Sigmundfreud, or something.
Oh, the cleverness of you!
Dude, vil you marry me?

I loved this fic - LOVED! (and I would never in a million years call it 'crack'. I would say 'creative', 'fun' and 'more meaty than a vampire rat')
I loved the humour, Harry's impressive fangs, Severus' jealousy, Vlad the lad, Ron's wife, Victor's voice, and how you managed to do a wonderful Hermione characterisation without having her show up once!

Amazing work!
*bites*